HOW TO ADJUST TO SOBER LIFE AT PARTIES.

So, you’re sober. You’re at a party. People are drinking. Things start to move in slow motion—everyone looks like a character from the Great Gatsby with their frilly little drinks and carefree attitudes. Take a deep breath and channel your inner Michael Scott because “F.O.M.O. ain’t your ho no mo’!”

We’ve all been afraid to miss out on something we deem important. This feeling can breed upon itself in sobriety. It is easy to go to a party, see everyone drinking and having a great time, and wonder if you should be doing the same. This is especially prevalent during the holidays. When you are working or going to school, it is easier to forget about social drinking, but when you are on vacation and see people concocting seasonal cocktails that seductively whisper “Merry Christmas, you filthy animal,” recovery can seem rocky. 

If we’re being honest, having a drink in hand seems to help calm social anxiety, making you blend in to the crowd. Society has conditioned us to associate a good time with drinking when in reality, no one has ever been thankful for taking that last shot.

My unpopular opinion is that you miss out on more during an event if you’re drinking. When you’re CLEARHEADED, you appreciate the atmosphere—the memories you make that night are lasting and vibrant without the hindrance of a hazy head. You become a better guest or host when you opt for a fun n/a cocktail instead of some booze-filled monstrosity.

When you’re CLEARHEADED, you appreciate the atmosphere—the memories you make that night are lasting and vibrant without the hindrance of a hazy head.

Still, it is hard to feel like you are not missing out on something that everyone else seems to be doing. There’s a sense of worry that comes with nonconformity. The fear of being boring weighs heavy on a sober mind. When you start to feel this anxiety here are three tricks to recenter yourself.

1.  Alter your perception: The fear you have of missing out is linked to your perception of what drinking is. At its surface, it seems that alcohol is a necessity to having a good time. But in reality, drinking will just lead to weekends of eternal groundhog days—the memories you make are artificial if they are reliant on alcohol. So, alter your perception on drinking. Remember the hangovers, the embarrassment, and the hurt that drinking can cause.

2. Make your own F.O.M.O.: Who cares what you may be missing out on? You should be focused on not missing out on YOUR activities and events. If there is something worth doing, you’ll do it on your own terms with your priorities intact. When you make yourself the most important consideration, you will stop worrying about what others are doing and discover what you truly love and value in life.

3. Map out your future: Sure, you can fall back into old habits, but before you do, imagine two versions of yourself: one who gave into F.O.M.O. and one who couldn’t be bothered. What would happen within hours, weeks or months of giving in to F.O.M.O. at a party? Add up the consequences of giving in against staying CLEARHEADED. Sure, you will always have regrets in life, but the best version of yourself is always talking to you, hoping to lead you down a path of self-acceptance and confidence.